Since I joined the ranks of the unemployed, I, recently, updated my resume. I've worked at many jobs in my life, but I only mentioned the ones that were interesting.

Here's the short list:

1. My first job was working in a fruit juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.
4. Next was a job in a shoe factory, but I didn't fit in.
5. I went to Newfoundland and worked as a fisherman, but I discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
6. Back in Brampton, I managed to get a good job in a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
7. So I got a job in a workout centre, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
8. After many years of taking college courses and trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.
9. My last job was working at Canada Post, but I had to quit because I was starting to go "POSTAL".
10. So, I tried retirement and found that I'm perfect for that job! Yabba Dabba Doooo!