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Thursday, 22 July 2004
Job Application Of The Week
Mood:  party time!
Up Against The Wal-Mart(An Actual Job Application)

NAME: George Martin(The Fifth Beatle)
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person (or one who'll cooperate).
DESIRED POSITION: I like doing it on top, company president or vice-president. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Head gopher and target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 a.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 Lbs.?: Of what??????
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Sagittarius

This was an actual job application that a 75 year old senior submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas .... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

Posted by qualteam at 10:18 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Wednesday, 21 July 2004
New Word Of The Week: Bridezilla
This is a woman who becomes a monster/demon while obsessing over every little detail concerning her wedding.

Have you ever been around any Bridezillas? What was it like?


Posted by qualteam at 10:13 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, 19 July 2004
Where Did Many Of The Baby Boomers Come From?
Of course physically, they came from their mothers, but spiritually that is another question.

Never in human history has a group valued non-conformity, individual spiritual insight and peace so highly. The boomers also found it hard to imagine life over thirty or life without youth(Remember the 60's movie: "Wild In The Streets").

It's my theory that when rock and roll was exported from Graceworld to earth, many of the original spiritual inhabitants came along with it.

The civilization which lost its world in a nuclear holocaust found new life and a new mission on a planet where obedience to political and religious authorities was looked upon as the highest virtue.

The counter culture moved forward in North America and Great Britain with challenging movies and music of the 60s. Do you remember "Easy Rider", "Cool Hand Luke" and "Billy Jack?"

"Where's it's at for you dad, isn't necessarily where it's at for me." was one of the defining slogans of that age.

What do you think of the boomer phenomena?
Reviews Of "Wild In The Streets"

Posted by qualteam at 11:18 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, 19 July 2004 11:37 PM EDT
Sunday, 18 July 2004
Helpful Stuff From Bravenet And A Friend
I've always found the services at "Bravenet.Com" to be quite useful. Try using this easy and free "Search Engine Submitter". Let me know if you like it.



Search Engine Submitter






















P.S. In a post on Mother's Day, I listed a Derek Pilgrim song that I wanted the lyrics for. Well someone read my post and found the words to "My Momma's Long Black Hair". Thanks GEST. This is what the internet is really about. People helping people.
Lyrics For My Momma's Long Black Hair

Posted by qualteam at 5:14 PM EDT
Updated: Sunday, 18 July 2004 11:17 PM EDT
Friday, 16 July 2004
Remembering Graceworld: The Origins Of Rock And Roll
In order to deal with the great age of this universe and the beings in it, the powers that be rediscovered "rock and roll" as a way to define eternal youth. The location of rediscovery was a destroyed planet called "Graceworld" about 12 to 15 light years from earth.

If any of you have a trace memory of this world, I would be happy to hear from you and compare notes.

Posted by qualteam at 11:39 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 16 July 2004 11:41 PM EDT
Thursday, 15 July 2004
Ready For The Weekend Party?








Posted by qualteam at 9:28 PM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 15 July 2004 10:15 PM EDT
Wednesday, 14 July 2004
A Superstar At Trivia
Mood:  bright
Trivia games like chess games undoubtedly will be won by the most skilled and intelligent players. This is certainly true of Ken Jenning's million dollar run on Jeopardy. Very seldom did I ever see anyone even close to him.

Remembering detailed information on any subject is a very challenging. It's great to see a grandmaster in this game get rewarded.


Posted by qualteam at 10:38 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 14 July 2004 10:41 PM EDT
Tuesday, 13 July 2004
Renovating, Constructing And Writing
When you renovate a house, you fix things that are broken and don't fix things that are ok.

You can also add value to a house by improving its appearance and usefulness(e.g. covering wood with vinyl siding, putting in a larger closet, adding a door from a hallway to the garage, etc., etc.). With writing and webpages, you do similiar activities. Fix what needs to be fixed and add improvements to the creative works which enhance their value.

I've always been open to suggestions that actually fix and improve any of my artistic works. The quest for quality is never ending and I appreciate any real help from a mentor or interested person.


Posted by qualteam at 10:43 PM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, 13 July 2004 10:49 PM EDT
Monday, 12 July 2004
Some Mysteries Are Stupid
Mood:  d'oh
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?
Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
When they asked George Washington for ID, did he just whip out a quarter?
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Posted by qualteam at 6:06 PM EDT
Sunday, 11 July 2004
Owning A House: A Three Project Saturday
How do you get three house projects almost finished on July/10/04? Well you either have lots money for labor or lots of family and friends with carpentry and landscaping skills. Fortunately, we had the latter.

It was a busy, hot day with five buddies assisting us, but we managed to make great headway on an expanded closet in the office, a door to the garage from the kitchen hallway, and extensive landscaping improvements in our garden.

My wife, a Newfoundlander, certainly knew how to organize and supervise this volunteer workforce. The rewards: free dinners at our place and burned CDs of their choice.

A great job was done by all concerned. Well done, Joni, Leslie, Richard, Joe and Erin. The downeast spirit is alive and well in Brampton Canada.

Posted by qualteam at 9:59 PM EDT
Updated: Sunday, 11 July 2004 10:12 PM EDT

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